Are you currently going through a divorce and have been separated for months? If so, your thoughts might have turned to dating. There are so many reasons why you might be considering it. You may have felt unappreciated, unloved, and unnoticed for some time. You may just be ready to feel those butterflies again.
Even so, it’s important to take a step back and think about the psychological implications of dating during divorce – for everyone involved. If you have a family, you have to consider your children. You must also make sure you’re really ready to put yourself out there again to avoid bringing on hard emotions too soon.
Here are a few reasons why it might be better to wait until your divorce is finalized and you have time to see who you are on your own first:
Dating during divorce affects your parenting
As mentioned, dating during divorce can have a massive impact on your children. You have to consider how they will feel if you bring someone new home. If your divorce isn’t finalized, it could really impact them emotionally. Trying to spend time with a new partner can also negatively affect your parenting and threaten the time your children will desperately need from you during this time; it can significantly impair your children’s healing.
Dating during divorce takes away from personal growth
Jumping straight into a new relationship removes the opportunity to spend time on yourself. Just like your children, you need time to heal. Time to mourn. Time to process. Time to grow. Time to renew interests and pursue hobbies. Time to reinvent yourself. When relationships grow distant and fall apart, it has a way of consuming you. Waiting to date gives you a valuable opportunity to reconnect with who you used to be and discover a new side of yourself.
Dating during divorce can be legally complicated
Besides dating affecting you and your children’s healing, it can also make things messier legally and affect the outcome of the divorce. In certain U.S. states, dating while in the process of divorce can actually be grounds for adultery, which could affect your settlement. If you’re unsure if this applies to you, make sure you check with your lawyer first before getting serious with someone new.
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